compassion for unkindness

When people hit against me with their unkind words, I think, "God bless you. There must be so much turmoil inside of you to have to do that. It must really be difficult living with all that hurt and agony inside. So I won't do anything to make it worse for you."

Am I to Blame? :-(

YOU
Take my water
Burn my Olive trees
Destroy my house
Take my Job
Steal my Land
Imprison my father
Kill my mother
Bomb my country
Starve ALL of us
Humiliate us ALL

BUT

I am to Blame???!!

I Shot a Rocket back!!!!!

Wouldn't you too?

The Benefit of Afflictions‏

Why should I grieve because of a thorn?

Once it had made laughter known to me.

Whatever you lost through the stroke of destiny, know it was to save you from adversity.

One small affliction keeps off greater afflictions; one small loss prevents greater losses.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

BE MINDFUL, FEEL BETTER: STRESS-FREE LIVING THROUGH MINDFUL THINKING by Lynne M. Kenney, PsyD

It may be time to change your relationship to your thoughts, feelings and sensations and guess what, no alcohol needed!

Becoming mindful is the newest and most productive way to feel better, live more passionately and feel more deeply.

Mindfulness is an activity in which a person becomes intentionally aware of his or her thoughts and actions in the present moment, non-judgmentally. Being mindful has been seen in research studies to help people cope better with stress. Research through The Center for Mindfulness at University of Massachusetts Medical Center by Jon Kabat-Zinn and his colleagues has shown the benefits of mindfulness (non-judgmental sustained attention) on reducing pain, distress, anxiety and the effects of rumination in depression.

Think Without Judgment

Think for a moment, when you feel distressed, angry or disappointed, what comes first the judgmental thought or the feeling? What might surprise you is that most often, each feeling you experience is preceded by a thought. That's right. Most people believe that you feel and then think but really you think and then you feel. Your thoughts guide your feelings. You think "I am fat," then you feel sad. You think, "He really loves me," then you feel happy. You think, "My children should behave," then you feel angry. You think, "That dog might bite," then you feel scared.

If your thoughts are causing you to criticize yourself, to feel angry toward your children or interfere with your relationships at work, it may be time to step-back and recognize that your thoughts are just that, only thoughts. They are reflections, observations, and opinions. They are not immutable all-powerful determiners of feelings or behavior.

Thoughts Can Be Altered

Thoughts can be altered, transformed and changed in order to help you feel better, more positive and more hopeful.
It's helpful to know that a thought is a biological process of communication between neurotransmitters in the brain. What we think is influenced by our individual life experiences, genetics and neurobiological predispositions.

Practice Positive Thinking

Keep a journal of your thoughts for 72 hours and reflect on whether your thoughts benefit your well-being or distract from your health. Carry the journal in your pocket, when you drop your children off at school, order lunch, or interact with a colleague, write down what you are thinking on the left side of the page and how you are feeling on the right.

In the following 72 hours do the same activity but make a third column for thought replacement, write down alternate positive thoughts to replace your negative thoughts.

Taking a look at your judgmental thoughts as well as your positive thoughts is the first step toward better health. Replace your negative thoughts with neutral, non-judgmental or positive thoughts; post your positive thoughts around your home, on your bathroom mirror, in the pantry and on your fridge. When you stop at a red light think one positive thought before the light turns green. Green is for "Go Positive."

amsterdam nights

out on the town with the big man!
loving every moment, life is sweet!

Online networking 'harms health'

People's health could be harmed by social networking sites because they reduce levels of face-to-face contact, an expert claims.

Dr Aric Sigman says websites such as Facebook set out to enrich social lives, but end up keeping people apart.

Dr Sigman makes his warning in Biologist, the journal of the Institute of Biology.

A lack of "real" social networking, involving personal interaction, may have biological effects, he suggests.

He also says that evidence suggests that a lack of face-to-face networking could alter the way genes work, upset immune responses, hormone levels, the function of arteries, and influence mental performance.

This, he claims, could increase the risk of health problems as serious as cancer, strokes, heart disease, and dementia.

'Evolutionary mechanism'

Dr Sigman maintains that social networking sites have played a significant role in making people become more isolated.

"Social networking is the internet's biggest growth area, particular among young children," he said.

"Social networking sites should allow us to embellish our social lives, but what we find is very different. The tail is wagging the dog. These are not tools that enhance, they are tools that displace."

Dr Sigman says that there is research that suggests the number of hours people spend interacting face-to-face has fallen dramatically since 1987, as the use of electronic media has increased.

And he claims that interacting "in person" has an effect on the body that is not seen when e-mails are written.

"When we are 'really' with people different things happen," he said.

"It's probably an evolutionary mechanism that recognises the benefits of us being together geographically.

"Much of it isn't understood, but there does seem to be a difference between 'real presence' and the virtual variety."

Dr Sigman also argues using electronic media undermines people's social skills and their ability to read body language.

"One of the most pronounced changes in the daily habits of British citizens is a reduction in the number of minutes per day that they interact with another human being," he said.

"In less than two decades, the number of people saying there is no-one with whom they discuss important matters nearly tripled."

Dr Sigman says he is "worried about where this is all leading".

He added: "It's not that I'm old fashioned in terms of new technology, but the purpose of any new technology should be to provide a tool that enhances our lives."

Step by step...

Changing a habit takes time and patience. So to build inner trust, relax, be gentle with yourself, and do keep your word with yourself -- one small agreement at a time.

Time to reclaim the night....for sleep!

We all know the health risks of smoking, drinking and eating too much. But sleep expert Neil Stanley says we don't pay attention to the risks of having too little sleep.

In this week's Scrubbing Up health column, he warns it is time to "reclaim the night".

Good sleep is vital for good physical mental and emotional health - but unfortunately we seem to live in a society that has forgotten this fact.

In terms of healthy living, sleep is as important as good diet and exercise.

Poor or inadequate sleep can have serious consequences on overall health and wellbeing and has been shown to lead to lower immunity, poor performance and mood changes.

In the longer term, inadequate sleep is associated with a greater risk of a number of diseases, such as heart disease, depression and diabetes.

There are also important consequences of poor or inadequate sleep which negatively affect the way we feel and perform during the day.

Round the clock

We are living in an increasingly "tired" society. Think about how you feel at the moment with one as very tired and 10 as feeling wide awake.

I reckon very few of you are a seven, let alone a 10. Why do we go through life feeling this tired?

One reason is the increasing extension of the daytime activities into the night.

Sleeping like a baby is something too few of us are doing

When I was growing up in the 1970s, Tomorrow's World each week promised us a future where, due to advances in technology, there would be so much leisure time that we would have to come up with new ways of amusing ourselves.

Unfortunately what was created by all this new technology was the 24/7 society.

Technology never sleeps, and thus people can work around the clock - whether they are in the office or at home.

The long hours, information overload and stresses associated with 21st Century living negatively affect our sleep which, in turn, is detrimental to our health, work performance and even our relationships.

Convenience brings risks

As a society we need to give much more serious consideration to our work/life balance particularly with regards to sleep.

For example it has been estimated that in future a third of the workforce will be working shifts, mainly in the service sector.

However there is a large body of evidence which shows that working shifts is bad for health and increases accidents at work.

So, whilst it is of course important for some workers to work around the clock, does the convenience of paying a bill at 2am really outweigh the health risks of having so many people doing shifts?

You would not want a drunken surgeon operating on you or a drunken train driver taking you to work, so why would you accept a tired one?

It has been reported that tired drivers now cause more deaths on European roads than drunk drivers, and yet whilst it has become socially unacceptable to be drunk behind the wheel or in the workplace it is almost a matter of pride that we believe we can function properly when tired.

Yet you would not want a drunken surgeon operating on you or a drunken train driver taking you to work, so why would you accept a tired one?

The problem of poor sleep is perhaps even more important in children as it has been linked with increased risk of - amongst other things - obesity, diabetes, poor academic performance and behavioural problems.

You only have to watch an episode of Supernanny to see how profound the positive effect of a good night's sleep can be on the behaviour of children.

Over the past decade there has been an increasing body of evidence that shows that sleep plays an important role in regulating weight and controlling appetite, and so I find it surprising that when earlier this year the government started its Change 4 Life healthy living campaign there is no mention of the importance of good sleep.

Isn't it about time we reclaimed the night for sleep?

source: bbc.co.uk/news

Life is!

Having enjoyed a sweet delicious taste,
And having sometimes tasted what is bitter,
Do not greedily enjoy the sweet taste,
Do not feel aversion toward the bitter.

When touched by pleasant contact, do not be enthralled,
Do not tremble when touched by pain.
Look evenly on both the pleasant and painful,
Not drawn or repelled by anything.

-Buddha, "The Connected Discourses of the Buddha"

Friendship :-)

Seek a true friend,
for a friend seeks the benefit of a friend,
Do good to the people for the sake of God
or for the peace of your own soul
that you may always see what is pure
and save your heart from the darkness of hate.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

Discipline in your thoughts

Eternal vigilance is knowing that as long as you are in a physical body, you need to do those things that maintain your balance and uplift your Spirit.

If you begin to let your discipline slide, the strength you have built can begin to go slack, and the subtle little thoughts against this person or that situation can begin to take their toll on your peace and happiness.

There really is no rest on the spiritual path.

O children of Israel........

83. section 10

84. And remember we took
    A covenent from the children
    of Israel
    worship none but god
    treat with kindness
    your parents and kindred
    and orphans and those in need
    speak fair to the people
    be steadfast in prayer
    and practise regular charity
    then did ye turn back
    except a few among you
    and ye backslide even now...
    
    
    84. and remember we took

your covenant

shed no blood amongst you

not turn out your own people

from your homes, and this

ye solemnly ratified

and to this ye can bear witness

85. After this it is ye, the same people

    who slay among yourselves

    and banish a party of you

    from their homes, assist

    their enemies against them

    in guilt and rancour

    and if they come to you

as captives, ye ransom them.

though it was not lawful

for you to banish them.

then it is only a part of the book that ye believe in

and do ye reject the rest?

but what is the reward for those

among you who behave like this

but disgrace in this life?

and on the day of judgement

they shall be consigned

to the most grevious penalty

for God is not unmindful

Of what ye do.

86. These are the people who buy

    the life of this world at the price

    of the hereafter; their penalty

    shall nog be lightened

    nor shall they be helped.

(S. 11. 82 – 85)

The people of Moses and the People of Jesus

were given revelations, but alas

they played false with their own lights

and in their selfishness, made narrow

Gods universal message.

To them it seemed incredible that his light

should illuminate Arabia and reform the world.

But his ways are wonderous and they are clear to those who have faith.

(C. 47. ii 87 – 121)

Section 8

62. Those who believe in the Quran

    and those who follow the Jewish scriptures

    and the christians and the Sabians

    and who believe in God

    and the last day

    and work righteousness

    Shall have their reward with their Lord , on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve....

63. (S. 11. 61 – 62)

The Quran.

Purity

The Soul doesn't have to "look good," to impress others, protect itself, or lie to get ahead.

It reflects a purity that is of God.
It reflects the simplicity of Spirit.

This simplicity is often found in the quality of being present.

They CAN Co-exist!

As long as no one understands this.. but preaches PEACE in their own lives.. then the world will stay the same, since unfortunately these days people use religion to justify killing human beings.
how sad the world is....

practice what you preach!

All things decay...

No matter how beautiful something looks in the world, no matter how it glitters or how glamorous it is, it's always going to corrupt and decay.

You're the one who is going to have to maintain it and maintain it and maintain it, and that takes your energy. So make sure that it is important enough for you to put your energy into in a purposeful way, or drop it so you can go on to complete other things.

When you are present in this moment, you break the continuity of your story, of past and future.
Then true intelligence arises, and also love.
The only way love can come into your life is not through form, but through that inner spaciousness that is Presence.
Love has no form.

Carrying the past, Break free of the mental prison..

Carrying the past

The inability or rather unwillingness of the human mind to let go of the past is beautifully illustrated in the story of two Zen-monks, Tanzan and Ekido, who were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side.

The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn’t restrain himself any longer.

‘ Why did you carry that girl across the road?’ he asked. ‘ We monks are not supposed to do things like that’ .

‘ I put the girl down hours ago’ , said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

Now imagine what life would be like for someone who lived like Ekido all the time, unable or unwilling to let go internally of situations, accumulating more and more ‘stuff’ inside, and you get a sense of what life is like for the majority of people on our planet.

What a heavy burden of past they carry around with them in their minds.

The past lives in you as memories, but memories in themselves are not a problem. In fact, it is through memory that we learn from the past and from past mistakes. It is only when memories, that is to say, thoughts about the past, take you over completely that they turn into a burden, turn problematic, and become a part of your sense of self.

Your personality, which is conditioned by the past, then becomes your prison.

Your memories are invested with a sense of self, and your story becomes who you perceive yourself to be. This ‘ little me’ is an illusion that obscures your true identity as timeless and formless Presence.

Your story, however, consists not only of mental but also emotional memory- old emotion that is being revived continuosly. As in the case of the monk who carried the burden of his resentment for five hours by feeding it with his thoughts, most people carry a large amount of unnecessary baggage, both mental and emotional, throughout their lives.

They limit themselves through grievances, regret, hostility and guilt. Their emotional thinking has become their self, and so they hang on to the old emotion because it strengthens their identity.

Because of the human tendency to perpetuate old emotion, almost everyone carries in his or her energy field and accumulation of old emotional pain, which I call ‘ the pain body’ .

We can, however, stop adding to the pain-body that we already have. We can learn to break the habit of accumulating and perpetuating old emotion by accepting situations for what they are and letting go, we can refrain from mentally dwelling on the past, regardless of whether something happened yesterday or thirty years ago.

We can learn not to keep situations or events alive in our minds, but to return our attention continuously to the pristine, timeless present moment rather than to be caught up in mental movie-making.

Our very Presence then becomes our identity, rather than our thoughts and emotions.

Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being Present now; and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what POWER does it have?

NONE!

Curious for more?

We all have the choice to go on with our lives unconsiously stuck in a routine of negative thoughts and emotions, possesed by our EGO and PAIN-BODY, which we probably aren’t even aware of, or we can make the choice to become aware of all our thoughts and emotions and be present in every situation that life hands to us…

Read further in Eckhart Tolle's amazing book: A New Earth.

An Ancient, Simple Rule.....

We know that whatever our differences, there is one law that binds all
great religions together.

Jesus told us to:
"love thy neighbor as thyself."

The Torah commands:
"That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow."

In Islam, there is a hadith by the Prophet Muhammad that reads:

"None of you truly believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself."

And the same is true for Buddhists and Hindus; for followers of Confucius and for humanists. It is, of course, the Golden Rule - the call to love one another; to understand one another; to treat with dignity and respect those with whom we share a brief moment on this Earth.

It is an ancient rule; a simple rule; but also one of the most challenging.
For it asks each of us to take some measure of responsibility for the
well-being of people we may not know or worship with or agree with on every
issue. Sometimes, it asks us to reconcile with bitter enemies or resolve
ancient hatreds. And that requires a living, breathing, active faith. It
requires us not only to believe, but to do - to give something of ourselves
for the benefit of others and the betterment of our world.

In this way, the particular faith that motivates each of us can promote a
greater good for all of us. Instead of driving us apart, our varied beliefs
can bring us together to feed the hungry and comfort the afflicted; to make
peace where there is strife and rebuild what has broken; to lift up those
who have fallen on hard times. This is not only our call as people of
faith, but our duty as human beings in general.

:-)

Peace of Mind

We are an anxious nation...in fact, we are an anxious world. There is no question that uncertainty seems to have increased dramatically in the last few years. We worry about war. We worry about losing our jobs. We worry about the dangers confronting our children. And on and on and on.

This worry is understandable, given the state of the world at the present time, but there is no question in my mind that, with the right tools...

All of us can rise above any situation that life hands us. All of us can live a fulfilling life in the middle of the turmoil.

All of us can find a sense of peace and purpose.

Un-setting your heart means letting go of your picture of how you want it all to be. It means letting go of trying to control things over which you have no control. One of the prime causes of our suffering is our wanting things to be different than they are. Yes, we all want a peaceful world instead of a world filled with war.

Yes, we all want health instead of illness. Yes, we all want healthy, happy children instead of children who break our hearts. But sometimes life doesn't hand us what we want. And when we un-set our hearts from our needing it all to be a certain way, we can breathe a sigh of relief and open the door to a more powerful way of living.

When you fully understand that you have little control of the external world, you then have two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a "poor-me" victim at the mercy of circumstances or you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all.

Hopefully you will choose the latter!

One way to help you develop trust in yourself is to cut off negativity in the mind by saying to yourself over and over again, "Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!" I suggest you emblazon this powerful affirmation on your mind. If you say it often enough, you will ultimately believe it. And if you really believe that you can handle anything that happens in your life and in the world, what could you possibly have to fear? Nothing!

So when the "what-if's" are driving you mad, simply cut them off by saying over and over again, "Whatever happens, I'll handle it!" You'll feel a sense of confidence wash over you. "What if I lose my job? I'll handle it." "What if my children have difficult times? I'll handle it. Whatever happens in my life, I'll handle it!"

Heroes to me are people who have created much good in this world as a result of horrible experiences in their lives. As you collect heroes, you understand this important thought: "If they can learn and grow from their experiences, I certainly can learn and grow from mine!" As you collect your heroes, your trust grows and your worry about the future gets smaller and smaller.

Yes, you can learn and find strength from anything that happens to you. I certainly learned from and found strength as a result of my own experiences. If you see ALL situations in life as a way of learning and growing, it helps you let go of your need for things to be a certain way.

* War = a way of learning
* Peace = a way of learning
* Illness = a way of learning
* Health = a way of learning
* Poverty = a way of learning
* Wealth = a way of learning
* Depression = a way of learning
* Joy = a way of learning


So despite what is happening in your life and in the world, constantly remind yourself "I can learn from this." When you can see the opportunities inherent in all situations, good or bad, it truly helps you embrace all the uncertainty in your life.

Embrace the Thought, "It's All Happening Perfectly"
This is another affirmation I use over and over. And it truly helps me let go of my needing things to be a certain way. "Aliya, how can things be happening perfectly when there is possibility of war,illness, poverty, and violence?" My answer to that is that we cannot know the "Grand Design," the great mystery of it all, and as we say "It's all happening perfectly," we begin looking for the good in any situation that life hands us. When we look for the good, we always find it. Yes, so much good can come from so much that is bad. In that, it truly is happening perfectly.

So when things seem very difficult in your life or in the world, just keep repeating this reassuring statement until it becomes an automatic part of your thinking. This always helps me to have trust, not only in myself, but also the Grand Design.

Focus on the Blessings

I have learned from my heroes that, no matter how horrible life may seem on the outside, it is so important to focus on the beauty. As we go about our daily lives, we take so many wonderful things for granted. It's now time to notice. Strangely, this is hard to do, especially when we have our eyes focused on the bad. It sounds ridiculous, but we actually have to train ourselves to notice all the beauty in our lives. And train ourselves, we must... because focusing on the blessings is an absolute necessity for diffusing our fears about the future.

A suggestion: As you go about your day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens. Then say to yourself while still in the glory of the moment, "I have had this." This is the acknowledgment that "No matter what happens tomorrow, I have had this today." It is in the noticing of the little things that you truly get the feeling of a life well-lived... that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, the fact that your car started, that great dinner you are eating, the warm rays of the sun, a candy bar, a wonderful television show...

Positive action has an amazing effect on our psyche. As we take action, we begin to feel more powerful and our fear about the future decreases considerably. Keep repeating to yourself: "My life has meaning and I will do whatever I can to make this a better world."

Then ask yourself, "What am I called to do?" Make a list of what comes to mind, and begin taking action. When you remember that your life has meaning, it makes it so much easier to push through the fear and live a life that matters. And your self-esteem grows and grows. Just as importantly, you will have found the secret of creating a joyous and fulfilling life.

As you make these tools a part of your daily life, you experience a whole new sense of purpose and power emerging from within, and you look forward to the future with an attitude of great possibility -- for yourself and for your world.